Coming Home to Myself
“Artist’s Cottage”
We’ve all experienced the longing for home in one way or another. It’s deep within us, this need to belong in a place where we are safe and nurtured, a place that we can return to after facing all of the hard things of the day, a place to simply rest, surrounded by love and beauty.
This is why our real, physical homes are one of the most special, sacred places in the world. They meet so many of these needs in a very tangible way.
When I use the phrase “coming home to myself,” I’m thinking about what it means if those longings for home are actually pointing us to something deeper. As lovely as our physical homes may be, they will never provide what we truly long for at the core. It’s become clear to me that, in one way or another, we are all on the journey of finding our way home.
Thumbnail sketches
To share a bit of backstory, I now know that for most of my life I was very out of touch with my true self. If you're into the Enneagram at all, I am a Type 9, which is the "peacemaker" type. This means that, through no fault of anyone's except for the way my child brain was wired, I learned at an early age that it was better to go along with what others wanted rather than saying my own opinion, because I believed (in my subconscious), that it was essential to my survival to not upset those around me.
Over time, this led me to not even know what my opinion was. I was a classic people-pleaser and made almost all of my decisions based on others' expectations of me. I essentially became who other people thought I was, and looked outside of myself to figure out who I should be and what I should do. This carried with me well into my adult years, and to this day, it is still my tendency to function this way.
Thumbnail sketches
No matter how loving and happy our childhoods were (I was so fortunate to have a wonderful one), I think that we all have our own version of this story. Coming home to myself, for me, has meant waking up to my own thoughts, needs, and gifts by remembering who I am (and who I am not), and making my way in the world from a place of deep self-awareness rather than looking outside of myself for affirmation and approval.
My Christian faith is deeply tied into this journey, because learning to know and love myself has been equally linked to beginning to understand what it really means that God knows and loves me.
“Greenhouse,” “Tea House,” “Farmhouse,” “Gardener’s Cottage”
I’m still very much on my way with all of this and have many days when home feels far away and I fall back into old patterns of thinking. But, one thing I know is that the peace I was seeking to create in my outer environment for so long, through striving and people-pleasing, has now found a true resting place inside of me.
When I’m at home, I’m centered and grateful, able to genuinely love others, because I'm no longer motivated by my need to earn their approval for my self worth and identity.
When I’m at home, I can embrace my gifts and bless others with them, because I know what they are, and that I was made to use them.
“Desert House”
My newest collection, called "Homes of Blessing," was inspired by this journey of coming home to myself, as well as my love for homes of all kinds; those special, physical spaces that nurture, protect, and are an extension of our very selves.
The collection features 12 homes and cottages in a variety of settings. Each one represents a place I've discovered in one way or another along my own path, and is made to be a resting place for fellow travelers.
(A little white animal friend lives in each scene to represent that pure, true self who lives inside us).
Writer’s Cottage | A place to find your voice
Tree House | A place to seek play and adventure
Greenhouse | A place to nurture new beginnings
Tea House | A place to connect with others
Gardener’s House | A place to trust slow growth
Farmhouse | A place to find joy in the simple things
Beach House | A place to rest your soul
Desert House | A place to breath in spaciousness
Artist’s Cottage | A place to delight in all that you find beautiful
Mountain House | A place to be still and wonder
Woodworker’s Cottage | A place to honor the work of your hands
Forest House | A place to enjoy warmth and comfort
It is my deepest hope that this work may help you remember where home is, and gently encourage you as you find your way there. ♥
“What if we already are
who we’ve been dying to become?”
- “Four,” Sleeping at Last
Resources that I’ve found useful along the way:
“The Road Back to You” by Ian Cron (about finding your Enneagram type)
“To Bless the Space Between Us” by John O’Donohue
Atlas: Enneagram by Sleeping at Last
“Come Home to Yourself,” a beautiful podcast episode by Emily P. Freeman
“Love Is Not a Black Hole,” one of the best messages I’ve ever heard about what love means
“Listening to Your Life” by Frederick Buechner